omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
