i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
