didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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