All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
