Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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