Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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