woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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