What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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