Duck Duck Cougar?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I could fuck to npr.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
