i would punch a child for taco bell
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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