My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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