My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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