you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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