I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
