The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
