quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize