She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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