please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize