NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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