my phone needs a breathalizer
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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