If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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