i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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