This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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