Only a mothe r could love this liver
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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