Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
