That's intense
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
