Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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