is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
