i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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