I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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