I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
