I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
