It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
