just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
