i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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