It's Friday. Sex?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Vodka?
Forever.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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