Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
