I'm pants shitting drunk right now
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Actions speak louder than pants.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize