Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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