is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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