We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
