I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize