We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
