if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
