Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
