I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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