Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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