i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
