the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
