Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
