It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize