I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
