just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
