i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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