Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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