Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
