Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
