K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize