you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Randomize
