is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
