i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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