I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
