Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
