So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
