On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
