That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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