lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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