We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
